Let's complain about high school! (Was: I feel like shit.)

[Horizon]

So, I'm in high school now. They said it was better than middle school. They lied. There's too much homework, I can't give yes or no answers to yes or no questions, and to top of the entree of bullshit and chips, they think I'm trying to be an ass with my minimalistic answers. I feel like shit.
Anything you guys can say to comfort me?

[TheAnarchitect]

Everything is bullshit? None of it matters and after high school no one cares. So do what you want to do, try outlandish things and don't be afraid to fail. Because 4 years from now all that will matter is what you learned, and unless you burn down the school or something there won't be consequences. High school is your opportunity to mess up before it counts. Use that as best you can.

[HavokSCOUT]

I hope you know what you've just done to me, Anarchitect. You've given me a good argument against the little voice that thinks too much ;)

[Horizon]

Actually, I'm only going to be there for three years. Senior year is quite superfluous here, as it seems. I figure I'll use that extra year to try to get an internship or something at the local apple building where my sisters all work.

[HavokSCOUT]

In fact, since starting Psychology, I've taken up the sport of "People Watching." It's really interesting to see people walking through the halls and wonder what's going through their heads. Hopefully I can find a practical use for it.

[The_Ender_lord]

Hey I started early, I'm only in 8th grade but I've known since 5th or 6th grade that high school is going to be complete bullsh*t

[Rianaru]

High school sucks. There's not really any way around it. My advice is to find a group of friends that you are ok with and are ok with you, and branch out from there. Be as accepting of everyone as you can, and just try to have fun and experience new things. Pretty much the same as everyone else is saying. High school was just the all-too-convenient way of saying they were going to take all the children with raging hormones and not enough experience with the world together in one place and not give too much of a shit about them(yes I'm a little bitter about my high school experiences), so sometimes dumb shit is gonna happen, but you have to try and make the best of it.

The one thing(ok, one of many) that took me too long to learn was that help is usually there if you ask for it. Teachers, parents, friendly upper-classmen, and various other figures are (hopefully) there to give you a helping hand if you ask for it. It sounds like that's why you came here, but I always found that a face-to-face conversation with someone you know at least semi-well is almost always more helpful.

[tedium]

call me a loser, but i enjoyed learning some of the things i learned in high school. maths, science and literature were always pretty interesting to me. of course, these days i work as an administrative assistant for a small retail business and don't use a single thing that i learned... but i'm still interested in those things, so i'm glad i learned them early. at the same time, i hate how socially inept i was during my senior years, and it's something that has followed me beyond school into the real world. i feel like i failed the most important class at school, which was learning how to trust people. plus i wish i had of believed people when they said my crushes would pass, or i'd get over being rejected. lol, i got way to caught up in taking people's lack of interest in me personally. i don't have any advice, or things to make you laugh... but i can tell you that even beyond high school, none of it really matters. you can bend the world to your will if you put in the effort and make the required sacrifices, and you can make yourself into whatever you want to be... and you can do this whether you are 8 or 80. it just feels easier as you get older, because the world feels like it makes more sense. it doesn't make any more sense though, the whole world is insane.

[walker_boh_65]

My only advice, is try to get involved in something. One thing that interests you the most. It will be your saving grace to the loads and loads of bullshit that highschool pulls out. Trust me, it keeps you sane.

[Mason11987]

Everything is bullshit? None of it matters and after high school no one cares. So do what you want to do, try outlandish things and don't be afraid to fail. Because 4 years from now all that will matter is what you learned, and unless you burn down the school or something there won't be consequences. High school is your opportunity to mess up before it counts. Use that as best you can.

As a counter point, college can be expensive (depending on where you want to go). THe school I got into offered a full ride scholarship that had an SAT and GPA requirement. I easily had the SAT requirement but I didn't meet the GPA requirement because I didn't do very good my freshman year of high school (a few Cs).

If you have no intention at all of college, certainly do what you like, but according to the several hundred dollars I have to pay in college loans every month, I'd say high school was when everything started mattering.

Outside of your work, the rest of the stuff doesn't matter all that much. I moved away from CT to NC for college and ending up getting a job in NC. I don't really talk to any of my friends from high school at all, only college friends (I'm 24 now). I know that's partly due to my move but even though some things in high school were annoying it was generally pretty good for me.

[Panda]

Consolation; it doesnt cost your 43,000 a year. Feel better? :D

[Thorium-232]

...because I didn't do very good my freshman year of high school (a few Cs).

Holy shit, what college looks at your freshman grades for consideration? That's the most backwards thing I've heard in a long time.

On Topic: Ignore the bullshit man, seriously. There isn't too much homework. Wait until college to complain about that. You can't give yes or no answers? Great. Life isn't about yes or no answers, so start picking that up now. And of course they think you're being an ass; you're young, they aren't, they're jaded after so many years of dealing with people your age. Don't let them get you down, most people you interact with in highschool stop mattering the minute you leave it.

Advice from someone probably old enough to be your father: ignore the bullshit if you can. It seems like it matters now but nothing in highschool matters much. Pay attention, keep your grades up (so incredibly important, that) and do things. Do all the things. Get out, join a club or a team or anything that will involve you with the people you're with. When you leave highschool you will lose a large portion of your friends and forget most of you teachers. But the ones you don't lose will most likely be with you until the day you die. A most importantly, if you're going to screw up, do it now. The penalties for trying and failing in highschool are almost nonexistant, and its the perfect environment to figure out what you like and why you like it.

[TheAnarchitect]

Screw up now I think is the most important thing.

It's my failures in high school that have been the most valuable to me in my later years. From my failures in competition to my failure to get the girl. Once I left high school none of the failures ever mattered again, but I treasure the lessons they taught me to this day. On the other hand, my successes from that time (mostly academic) have mostly let me down, because the rewards of success ceased to matter after school, and they made me lazy cocky in a way that came back to bite me in the ass more than once.

[Rianaru]

...because I didn't do very good my freshman year of high school (a few Cs).

Holy shit, what college looks at your freshman grades for consideration? That's the most backwards thing I've heard in a long time.

I applied to a couple of schools that did that, and that didn't go well because I had terrible grades as a freshman too. In the end, I ended up not caring because the schools that I wanted to go to(much better academically, with better research programs and such, not to mention a much more friendly and intelligent environment) really only checked SAT scores and essays, so I was home free :)

So yeah, point is, theres plenty of schools that do that, and plenty that don't. Do well at as many things as you can and don't worry too much about it.

As far as activities go, something called drum corps is a really good activity to get into if you like playing music(or even if you're mildly interested). Lots of training in music and athleticism and some other things that will serve you well in life, not to mention great connections if you ever want to do anything in music and get paid for it. I ended up becoming good friends with a guy that performed in the original Blast! show on broadway, and I enjoy a part-time professional music career(and I'm not a music major) because of the connections that I have through him and my other friends and teachers. The activity itself is a helluva lot of fun too. Much more fun than any other activity I've done, including high school sports. I did JV water polo for a year before I had to quit to balance my life out, so I do have a little bit of experience in that category ;) I PM me if you're interested in the drum corps thing though. Enough of my old friends work in different corps around the country so that I can probably hook you up if you want.

[simanick]

so much like everyone else here i will say high school is all about doing what ever you want, the consequences are effectively non existent. As i recall i would calculate how much homework i would need to turn in from the point i was at to pass the class but as long as you dont fail to badly and dont care to kill your self on homework to get into an insane collage then do what you want and prove your self later.

[Mason11987]

...because I didn't do very good my freshman year of high school (a few Cs).

Holy shit, what college looks at your freshman grades for consideration? That's the most backwards thing I've heard in a long time.

Well they look at your cumulative GPA, which is about 1/4 your freshamn GPA. Why should only 2 or 3 years of highschool count but not 4? That seems arbitrary.

so much like everyone else here i will say high school is all about doing what ever you want, the consequences are effectively non existent. As i recall i would calculate how much homework i would need to turn in from the point i was at to pass the class but as long as you dont fail to badly and dont care to kill your self on homework to get into an insane collage then do what you want and prove your self later.

I completely disagree.

If you want to go to a non-community college it's expensive and will almost certainly be even MORE expensive in 4 years. Of course that isn't what everyone has to do, but if you want that and your parents aren't going to pay anything for you for school then grades are a great way to cut down the bill. I wish I had family that did college before I did that could tell me if I do shitty in Spanish freshman year I'll end up paying $500 a month in loans for 10-15 years to go to the school I want.

[Thorium-232]

Well they look at your cumulative GPA, which is about 1/4 your freshamn GPA. Why should only 2 or 3 years of highschool count but not 4? That seems arbitrary.

I'm Canadian. Here they only care about your senior years (11, 12, and depending on the province, 13). Counting only your senior years vs. all of your highschool years is just as arbitrary as the divide between elementary and secondary school. Why not take all years back to kindergarten into consideration?

I would argue that only teens in their later years of school can fully comprehend the importance of post-secondary. Before that it's more of an abstract concept.

[simanick]

the consequences are effectively non existent.

I completely disagree.

If you want to go to a non-community college it's expensive

I graduated for a small tech school that is in the top 10 schools in the nation(US), that was constantly compared to MIT with a tuition of less then 4k a year and a next to nonexistent entry requirement with an expected drop out rate of over 40% over the freshman class. People constantly talk about how you need to do amazing in highschool to get into your collage of choice or that you will have to spend a arm and a leg to get thought collage, people go to expensive collages, well outside their ability to pay. For an undergrad education i would even argue the difference between top tier collage and other collage is not worth the difference in tuition across the board. Now i will accept that im view is flawed for what my degree is in and that i am currently in grad school but this is how i look at it.

[Mason11987]

Well they look at your cumulative GPA, which is about 1/4 your freshamn GPA. Why should only 2 or 3 years of highschool count but not 4? That seems arbitrary.

I'm Canadian. Here they only care about your senior years (11, 12, and depending on the province, 13). Counting only your senior years vs. all of your highschool years is just as arbitrary as the divide between elementary and secondary school. Why not take all years back to kindergarten into consideration?

I would argue that only teens in their later years of school can fully comprehend the importance of post-secondary. Before that it's more of an abstract concept.

I was taking courses at a nearby community college the summer going into junior year. I took College level US history my junior year, along with calculus, physics and most of my computer related courses so junior year certainly mattered. (We consider just year 12 our senior year). The high school-middle school divide is pretty drastic where I grew up so that divide makes a lot of sense and it would seem foolish for a college to only look at the last year before people came there. I suspect you'd end up with a lot of people that just waited til the last minute to pick it up and do okay for college instead of people who consistently work hard over a long term (like what college is).

Regardless, my purpose here was to be a word of warning that SOME doors may be closed to you if you treat high school as a place without consequences. Like I said, if someone gave me the warning I gave here, I'd be appreciative.

[Flesh_Engine]

Screw up now I think is the most important thing.

It's my failures in high school that have been the most valuable to me in my later years. From my failures in competition to my failure to get the girl. Once I left high school none of the failures ever mattered again, but I treasure the lessons they taught me to this day. On the other hand, my successes from that time (mostly academic) have mostly let me down, because the rewards of success ceased to matter after school, and they made me lazy cocky in a way that came back to bite me in the ass more than once.

This here.

[agentwiggles]

So, I'm in high school now. They said it was better than middle school. They lied. There's too much homework, I can't give yes or no answers to yes or no questions, and to top of the entree of bullshit and chips, they think I'm trying to be an ass with my minimalistic answers. I feel like shit.
Anything you guys can say to comfort me?

First off, don't feel like shit. It's September 12th, which means you've been in high school only two or three weeks. I think the first thing you need to realize is that it does get better. It's a big adjustment at first to be sure, but I think you'll find it much more worthwhile than grade school before too long.

I always feel kind of bad when I hear people talking about how awful high school was for them. High school should be fun! I look back on high school fondly, I made some really great friends and had some pretty fun times. You seem like a fairly bright kid, so I don't think that the academics are going to be too horrible for you. The academic part of high school has been addressed pretty well here anyway, so I won't harp - my advice is just to apply yourself and try to maintain decent grades, because college is the next step, and arguably the first important one. It's easy to forget about what's going to be important 4 years away and its very possible to make mistakes you'll regret later. Unfortunately the academic portion of high school is bullshit and the real lessons aren't assigned grades, but hey, man - you live in the system, whether you like it or not, and as hard as it is to accept that, (I know because I hated the idea when I was your age and still do) sometimes you just gotta go along with the way things are.

On the other hand, this is your golden chance to make mistakes. You need to think of high school as kind of a sandbox. You can try out new things, whether its sports or some other extracurricular, or listening to new music, or taking a year to fall into some idiotic fashion/music trend. It's ok! No one of value will be worried about what you did in HS afterwards. Socialize! This one is typically difficult for people who spend their time on internet forums, (no offense, introverts ftw) but, believe it or not, there are other people like you, and you can learn a lot about yourself from them. But you can learn even more by getting to know someone who ISN'T like you. And for the love of god, keep clear of drama. I used to tell people bitching to me about whatever some other asshole did: "I'm Switzerland." Which essentially meant that I was perfectly happy to live a life relatively free of conflict, and that I was staying out of it. As a result of this, and just generally trying to not be a douche, the large, scary group of people I didn't know warmed up to me pretty quick. A big part of being an outsider is accepting it. Throw away whatever bullshit notions you have of the importance of popularity or of your clothes or religion or music or drugs or whatever the hell it is you do. Worthwhile people know that none of those things are important at all, and I think good people tend to gravitate towards each other.

Another thing, and this is going to be hard to grok right now, but just take my word for it: You're stupid as hell right now. Don't take that as an insult, either, its certainly not meant as one. It's just that as you get older and grow up a bit you'll start to realize how dumb you were a few years ago. You'll think "why the hell did i think that was important," or "what the hell was I thinking that night my junior year," or "since when do I know how to cook some basic food." You'll be astounded at the things you'll pick up over the next couple years: dealing with people, controlling money, keeping a schedule, and driving are just a few. It takes a lot of time to acquire the skills you need and my main point here is that you should NEVER EVER EVER get down on yourself for not understanding some concept from class or situation in your life. You're new at real life, in your trial period still, and the difficulty curve only goes up, so its never productive to get down on yourself or your situation. Always keep your head up and be confident that in the end if you keep trying you'll usually figure things out.

One last thing, which I know I would have ignored when I was your age, but I'll try anyway: cut the cynicism. When I graduated 8th grade, I thought I had it figured it out, that everything was bullshit and that the best approach to it was to be a pessimist and not give a shit about anything. However, having negative thought about everything is extraordinarily counterproductive and just generally makes you feel crappy.

The one thing(ok, one of many) that took me too long to learn was that help is usually there if you ask for it. Teachers, parents, friendly upper-classmen, and various other figures are (hopefully) there to give you a helping hand if you ask for it. It sounds like that's why you came here, but I always found that a face-to-face conversation with someone you know at least semi-well is almost always more helpful.

^This is really important too. I am absolutely terrible about asking for help when I need it, and it's gotten me into trouble more than a few times since I started college. There are a lot of people in the world who know more about "x" than you, so instead of trying to go it alone, don't be afraid to ask for advice and help. Most people are more than happy to try to help others avoid mistakes that they themselves have made (hint: thats the reason I'm writing all this)

I could write pages more like this, but I won't bore you with a wall of text. The tl;dr version is this: Don't be afraid to try new things, or meet new people. Don't worry about other people's drama, and don't be a douche. Try to be friendly to people. Think about it: There's always someone worse off than you. So if you're feeling like shit and having trouble adjusting, there's probably someone out there who's feeling that way even more. It can be a really big satisfaction to be of help to someone, and it makes you feel a lot more in charge and in control of your own life. Be the best person you can, make your mistakes now, and I think you'll actually (*gasp*) ENJOY high school.

Good luck! Don't let yourself get too down or you'll miss everything worthwhile.

[Horizon]

I'm not the one being down on myself. That would be everyone around me. And while I am a bright kid, as you said, I am also infected with a terminal case of laziness. And I don't do well under stress. And my life is nothing if not stressful. So, yeah. That's pretty much it

[Last_Jedi_Standing]

While I'm sure that someday I'll need to know how to calculate the index of refraction of olive oil, I'll say that it hasn't been particularly applicable to my life so far.

[Horizon]

Also, as a sidenote, all of the classes are both patronizingly easy and bureacratically opaque at the same time. They add difficulty through the meta-lessons, which is not what a school should ever do. If school's gonna be hard, it damn well better be because of what they're trying to teach us, not because of the sheer amount of homework they give us and how strict the policies for it are.

[FlowerChild]

Also, as a sidenote, all of the classes are both patronizingly easy and bureacratically opaque at the same time. They add difficulty through the meta-lessons, which is not what a school should ever do. If school's gonna be hard, it damn well better be because of what they're trying to teach us, not because of the sheer amount of homework they give us and how strict the policies for it are.

Ug. Some of my worst memories of high school are from exactly that kind of thing.

By my senior year I had settled into a nice pattern of dozing off or doing something else during class (usually writing D&D adventures for my gaming group). I'd then read through the material the night before any exams, and that was always more than sufficient to keep my grades at a very respectable level.

When I got into my last math class before graduating however, the anal bitch that was teaching it decided she would be collecting our note-books weekly and evaluate them based on the quality of notes we were taking and the overall neatness for 20% of our overall grade, or some other ridiculously high value.

Within the first week I decided to write that 20% off as an eventual zero, as taking notes forced me to pay attention to the lowest-common-denominator oriented lessons, and had me wanting to put a gun in my mouth due to how painful that was.

So, I started having fun with it, scrawling very nasty and provocative graffiti all over my notes, knowing that she in turn would be forced to go through it.

I of course did receive zero for that, and actually, going into the final exam, I had a failing grade for the class as a result (which was comical in itself because I always aced my math classes with no effort), and it was a requirement for me to graduate. The thing is, it was a state-provided exam which was worth 50% of the overall grade for the class. By going over the material the night before, I pulled off a grade on it just short of 100% (I think I made one mistake on the whole thing), which had me laughing for years to come at the big final "fuck you" that represented to the teacher in question (I'll never forget the scowl on her face when she handed me that test back).

So yeah man, my advice: high school doesn't mean shit. Have fun with it anywhere you can, get it over with, and move on to bigger and better things.

Oh, and BTW, if you haven't already, I'd suggest taking up table-top role-playing games. They're a great way to develop your reading comprehension, and math skills, and depending on the game, probably a bit of history as well, which will ensure that you're way ahead of the curve in most of your classes. Also, they're a great way to pass time in classes like I did above, while keeping up the appearance of paying attention, and avoiding being bored out of your skull. They're also a great way to develop a social network outside of school while avoiding the knuckle-dragging crowd.

If you're interested in programming, that's also a great activity to keep your brain sharp while the system does its best to dull it and turn you into a drone.

I think all in all, if you're an intelligent individual (which you seem to be), then the quicker you ditch the concept of high-school being about learning, the happier you'll probably be. Find yourself another source of intellectual stimulation like those I mention above, and accept that high school is all about conformity, playing the system, and keeping you occupied until society feels you're old enough to be useful to them.

Oh...and start listening to Floyd. You can't be a properly pissed off high school student without Floyd.

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