Flower's Dev Diary (March 31st) - Cold hard truth edition

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FlowerChild
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Flower's Dev Diary (March 31st) - Cold hard truth edition

Post by FlowerChild »

Ok, been more than a couple of months since my last dev diary, and as the third anniversary of the first release of the mod fast approaches (April 10th...three years already?! AAAAAHHHH!!!!), I want to say a few things that have been weighing on me more and more over the past while.

Most of you that follow the mod probably know that the final stages of it have been lingering epicly over the past 6 months or so. Namely, we're talking about HC Villagers here and the "end game" of BTW. I suspect this has probably left a lot of you with question marks as to where things are going, and admittedly, those question marks have been haunting me as well and have been hanging over practically everything I do.

Some of you may remember that about a year ago I made a decision that I was tired of developing for Minecraft and wanted to start up my own game instead (RTH). This occurred for a variety of reasons, most of which I won't get into here, but it became clear to me that I needed to move on. So, I began a final push to get BTW finalized and into a state where it would meet my own standards for what I consider to be a complete game.

Over the six months or so that followed, there was a flurry of development in that direction with me trying to cover what I considered to be all the remaining loose ends in MC to that end. Obviously, this was a rather massive task as I took it upon myself to not only wrap up BTW itself, but basically MC as a whole, and I think we're all aware that Mojang has left a prodigious number of loose ends in vanilla.

Me deciding to essentially freeze the code base at 1.52 was obviously a wise decision to that end as with each release Mojang seemed to be adding more dangling loose ends than they were resolving, and it's already been covered at length on these forums how the quality of content they were adding to the game has basically been in a steady decline ever since Notch left, with some of the most recent releases being the very worst examples of that trend.

Anyways, I kept soldiering on from there and trying to get things in a state I could consider final.

In retrospect though, about six months ago or so, specifically during the last Minecon, something really snapped for me, and beyond being tired of developing for Minecraft, some last straw process occurred within me that I think essentially amounts to the following:

I no longer *enjoyed* developing for Minecraft. Not one bit. In fact, I found trying to continue doing so to be a distinctly unpleasant experience, and I didn't even particularly want to play it anymore.

After much analysis over the past six months, I think what this basically comes down to is the sensation of working at crossed purposes.

On one hand, I very much want to complete Better Than Wolves to my own standards. I feel the community deserves that, the mod itself deserves that, and I personally deserve the satisfaction of knowing that I it to completion after all the work and time I put into it.

On the other hand, I absolutely hate the feeling I've had that I'm helping people that I don't like, by further contributing my creativity and ideas to the game as a whole.

After writing up a few paragraphs detailing the specifics there, I decided there's no point potentially causing additional conflict through making this stuff more public than it already is. Suffice it to say that when it comes to the current devs at Mojang, and the larger modding scene surrounding MC, I don't much care for many of the people involved, and thus do not feel comfortable contributing to their success, even indirectly through contributing my ideas to the game. When I sit down to work on BTW, it's very hard for me to escape the feeling that I'm doing exactly that.

This is a very different situation from when I first started working on BTW. Not only did I love Minecraft, but I had an infinite amount of respect for Notch with him having created what I considered to be a masterpiece of game design. I was more than happy to contribute in any way I could to that. With time, things changed in that regard when he left and when new people came on to try and replace him. But still, I kept running on that initial vibe, even as it slowly dissipated beneath me.

So: crossed purposes. I want to do something that pains me to actually do.

What has this resulted in? It fills me with regret to say this, but I think it's basically amounted to six months of procrastination while I struggled with those conflicting sentiments. Throughout that time, the final release of BTW has always just been a couple of weeks away, and throughout that time I always found yet another excuse to work on something else "just one more day", basically doing that 180 times or so in succession :P

That "something else" has primarily been my KSP mod, BTSM. Don't get me wrong, I think I have gotten a pretty epic amount of work done on that thing and achieved some remarkable stuff that I'm very satisfied with, so I certainly haven't been idly twiddling my thumbs watching non-stop TV or something. HOWEVER, that was not my intent with it. My intent was to maybe spend a week or two working on a tech tree that would turn KSP's career mode into something more to my taste while taking a *little* break from BTW to recharge my batteries for the final push. Six months later I instead have a rather epic feature list that touches on almost every aspect of the game and which has become a "total conversion" in its own right. Without really intending to I basically made another mini-BTW while procrastinating about working on BTW.

And why does that pain me so much? RTH. I wanted to start in on that about a year ago, and this is what's happened instead. I've been in a nice little catch-22 where I want to work on RTH, but feel compelled to complete BTW first, but can't bring myself to work on BTW, so I work "one more day" on BTSM as a more palatable immediate and "short term" alternative.

The whole situation has basically been fucked, and after spending much time on self-reflection, I'll be the first to admit it.

Don't get me wrong, I think a lot of good has come out of BTSM. First of all, I think it's super cool and very fun, which I definitely take pride in. Secondly, it's exposed a wider audience to my overall design style and it has struck a chord with many that may not have been familiar with BTW. I've also become familiar with both the Unity engine and C# (KSP uses both) which I suspect I'll be putting to good use with RTH. It has also opened me up to aspects of designing creative-style gameplay that I had not dealt with previously and it has thus broadened my perspective as a designer. Lastly, it has reminded me that I am not a "one trick pony" and that my capabilities extend way beyond BTW which is not something which is necessarily evident after devoting yourself to a single project for an extended period of time.

But that aside, it's not what I should be working on at this point in time, and I am keenly aware of that.

So what does all this introspective wankery actually mean to the future of BTW, BTSM, and most importantly (to my mind at least): RTH?

Well, let me tell you :)

Primarily, I wanted to write up this dev diary to clearly state both to you guys and myself that I'm giving myself ten more days to "finalize" BTW, and that's it. The third anniversary seems like a good date for me to set a do or die deadline on this and put this to bed once and for all. It's become clear to me that I need to make a clean break from this catch-22 of mine and simply move on to bigger and better things.

What will this final release actually entail? Basically, everything I feel I can realistically get done in ten days time and put a period on the end of this prolonged sentence.

I warn you now: it likely won't be epic. I simply can not afford (including quite literally in the financial sense) to let this drag out any further and say turn HC Villagers into something that fixes all of Mojang's mistakes and makes them a fully integrated part of the game. Heck, there might be very few changes to them indeed, or simply a baseline implementation of what I had once hoped to be a much larger system.

After those ten days, I'm basically done with modding, and entering into the brave new world of being an independent game developer. I will continue to maintain and support both my mods, possibly adding small bits here and there as the mood strikes me, particularly with BTSM which I still have a few plans for, particularly since I am still an avid KSP player, and I still enjoy working on it. But that aside, on April 10th my title officially changes from "mod developer" to "independent game developer" and my focus will shift almost entirely to the latter.

Anyways, that's the story. My apologies for the length of this, but I thought it was about time for a public explanation of what's been going on and what the future holds.

See y'all on the 10th :)
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Sarudak
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Re: Flower's Dev Diary (March 31st) - Cold hard truth editio

Post by Sarudak »

Thank god! You don't know how happy I am to hear this. :)
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Caevin
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Re: Flower's Dev Diary (March 31st) - Cold hard truth editio

Post by Caevin »

As a random player who has always appreciated BTW and who holds no notion that their opinion matters all that much, I support whatever you feel you want to do.

I'll be glad to see BTW finalized in whatever way, and then I can start eagerly looking forward to your future game development. Seeing your design strategies has been somewhat an inspiration to the young and completely inexperienced programmer and developer I hope to be, so any chance to experience more and play whatever you create is exciting.

I've always been incredibly impressed to and interested to hear your opinions in general, and the approach you've taken with the mod and such, and I have absolute faith that trend shall continue in the future.

Yeah, that came out cheesy. So...good luck!
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MrLemon
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Re: Flower's Dev Diary (March 31st) - Cold hard truth editio

Post by MrLemon »

"Cold hard truth"? Maybe "Best news ever"?
TiLT
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Re: Flower's Dev Diary (March 31st) - Cold hard truth editio

Post by TiLT »

Good luck sir. I appreciate your efforts.
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DaveYanakov
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Re: Flower's Dev Diary (March 31st) - Cold hard truth editio

Post by DaveYanakov »

I have been watching you agonize over this for awhile now and it sounds like the metaphorical fever has broken. I look forward to seeing what you do next man. You know we're behind you.
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Gormador
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Re: Flower's Dev Diary (March 31st) - Cold hard truth editio

Post by Gormador »

Yeah, what Dave said, 100%.
And man, three years. Three years you've been devoting to this.
And even though we would all really like to see what you can make of those pesky villagers, I would say we want even more to see what you make of all your ideas that we haven't heard of yet in your very own game.

So, yeah, "GL, hf" for the next week and a half. But more importantly, embrace your new role afterwards knowing that, once again as Dave said, we are behind you. (Which, for the record, sounds kinda creepy.)

Anyway, thanks for all the fun FC. The one we had, the one we have, and the one we will surely get (all in due time)!

EDIT:
Also, here is a good luck charm:
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Re: Flower's Dev Diary (March 31st) - Cold hard truth editio

Post by Mason11987 »

This is really one of the best "cold hard truths" I've ever read. Wrap up for BTW in 10 days AND the start of development on a new game I can be excited to follow? Sign me up!

Can't wait to see where this goes, good luck!
jakerman999
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Re: Flower's Dev Diary (March 31st) - Cold hard truth editio

Post by jakerman999 »

What, no sweater thread metaphor this time? Oh well. Glad to read that RTH is still fermenting, and that BTSM has an added bonus to it. Still have to get around to trying it someday, but my c++ professor barely gives us time to sleep with the workload we've got.

Mixed feelings on the end of BTW, I'm glad it's getting another update, but a little sad it's going to be the last one. Then again, brighter futures, right? Also, wouldn't want you working on it if it's not right anymore; I'm a firm believer that a designer has to enjoy there own work in order for anyone else to enjoy it.

Still a part of me that entertains that this post is an april fools joke, but I don't believe the date has rolled over for you yet(could be wrong though, I don't know where you are). Don't know entirely how to react if that is the case.

May your bugs be few, and your coffee never run dry.
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FlowerChild
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Re: Flower's Dev Diary (March 31st) - Cold hard truth editio

Post by FlowerChild »

Oh wow guys, thanks for the supportive messages. I stepped away from my computer a bit and came back to this :)

Always keep in mind guys: I *love* making games. If I were independently wealthy (which I'm definitely not), I could see myself continuing doing this for the rest of my days and being perfectly happy doing so. If that were the case, I'd likely just keep working on BTSM until I was tired of it and satisfied with calling it complete, move onto something else from there, and so on.

But that's really not an option for me. For awhile I had hoped "professional modder" might actually be viable, but after three years at it, I really don't think that's the case (at least not yet, or for something as niche as I want to make). I've poured just about everything I've got into these projects, and have to accept I just can't keep myself afloat this way in the long term.

So yeah, I feel I absolutely have to take this to the next level and try to make a decent living doing what I love, if I'm going to be able to stand any chance of sustaining the ability to do so in the long term. That in no way means selling out on my design concepts or what have you (I wouldn't enjoy doing this if I had to, which is the whole point of this in the first place), but I think it does mean a shift in paradigm is required.

Anyways, all that to say: thanks for the understanding and support in all this guys. It means a lot to me.
jakerman999 wrote: Still a part of me that entertains that this post is an april fools joke, but I don't believe the date has rolled over for you yet(could be wrong though, I don't know where you are). Don't know entirely how to react if that is the case.
Hehe...no. I don't think I've ever pulled one of those as a developer. Heck, I'm usually not even awake before April fools is over :)

Plus, messing with people is something I do year round. I don't need a particular date as an excuse ;)
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Gunnerman21
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Re: Flower's Dev Diary (March 31st) - Cold hard truth editio

Post by Gunnerman21 »

This feels like the good ol' days when only about 100,000 people had minecraft and Notch used his blog religiously... I adored those days, and now it looks like a more civil future of that same setting is right around the corner :)

No one here can give you enough gratitude for this masterpiece you've created. All I can say is, thank you FC.
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icynewyear
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Re: Flower's Dev Diary (March 31st) - Cold hard truth editio

Post by icynewyear »

Much love man.
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Re: Flower's Dev Diary (March 31st) - Cold hard truth editio

Post by destineternel »

What everyone else has said. <3

I have to one up Gormador for you though.
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Battlecat
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Re: Flower's Dev Diary (March 31st) - Cold hard truth editio

Post by Battlecat »

This is the wisest decision you could make regarding the mod. If it isn't inspiring you and isn't making you happy, I see no reason to force yourself to do one iota more than necessary. In fact, I believe you've given us far more than I could have hoped for in the process of "wrapping it up" already. A vast number of neat features have come into existence after that announcement last year.

Your hard work is greatly appreciated and I'm really looking forward to seeing what you've got planned for your next steps.
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Re: Flower's Dev Diary (March 31st) - Cold hard truth editio

Post by logorouge »

You had my support since day 1 and that's not about to change.

10 days, no regrets. I like it. :)
Azdoine may have wrote:Well, we are harvesting souls [...] Sure, they get trapped in a piece of metal, but at least they get to see the world.
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FlowerChild
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Re: Flower's Dev Diary (March 31st) - Cold hard truth editio

Post by FlowerChild »

destineternel wrote: I have to one up Gormador for you though.
There you guys go cheapening my deep spiritual connection with the lovely Ms. Barrymore yet again :)
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Taleric
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Re: Flower's Dev Diary (March 31st) - Cold hard truth editio

Post by Taleric »

BTW has been such a great journey to enjoy, more organic and true to its' origin than what vMC has become. To close the loop alone will be awesome :), ty for the commitment to fight it out this last bit.

To know this will free you up for a project completely your own is the best part.
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Re: Flower's Dev Diary (March 31st) - Cold hard truth editio

Post by Stormweaver »

I'd drink to your success FC, but I find myself without worthy beverages.

Party on the tenth?
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Re: Flower's Dev Diary (March 31st) - Cold hard truth editio

Post by Caboose »

Looks like I'll have to make an extra-special cake for this anniversary.

You've given countless hours to providing what is one of the finest game experiences I've ever enjoyed, you more than deserve to enjoy what you're doing. I will have a hard time waiting for Return to Home, but it will definitely be more than worth the wait. =)
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FlowerChild
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Re: Flower's Dev Diary (March 31st) - Cold hard truth editio

Post by FlowerChild »

Stormweaver wrote: Party on the tenth?
Let's make it the 11th. If past experience has taught me anything it's that I tend to push such deadlines to the absolute max :)
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Re: Flower's Dev Diary (March 31st) - Cold hard truth editio

Post by Svartwolf »

well, im certainly more than a lurker here than an asset (a faithful lurker mind you), so i will try to make it brief, because most of it have already been said.

It may hurt you not finishing BTW with the grandeur that you wished, but as everyone in this forum seem to agree, its hurting more not working on RTH. so this is actually pretty good news specially on the long run.

Looking forward for RTH, not because of any contempt to minecraft (which i may have), but because your design is AMAZING and certainly will be something to see without external constraints.

Dogspeed!
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Re: Flower's Dev Diary (March 31st) - Cold hard truth editio

Post by Miss_Kat »

Glad to see you've found something of a peace with this. I'm excited to see what the final touches to BTW will be and what sort of glorious horrors you can come up with when you're not tethered to something not completely your own. Best of luck in everything, man. :)
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BinoAl
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Re: Flower's Dev Diary (March 31st) - Cold hard truth editio

Post by BinoAl »

Wow, if this is "Cold Hard Truth", I absolutely can't wait for what you'd consider to be good news :)
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Re: Flower's Dev Diary (March 31st) - Cold hard truth editio

Post by abzu93 »

I've loved this mod since I started playing it a few years ago. I normally slice through games like butter and rarely will play something past three months without modding the living hell out of it, trying to create new enthusiasm into the gameplay. This usually doesn't hold my attention much longer either.

In sharp contrast, I've played Better Than Wolves since Apr 2012 and I'm still not tired of being tortured by your devious game mechanics. I'm ridiculously happy with the state of the game the way it is, and if you called it finished today, I'd be content. That you might be adding to it is a kick ass bonus.

You've made two cool games awesome and challenging and you have nothing to regret even if you closed down shop right now and walked away. Thanks FC for being a brilliant modder and sticking with your design philosophy through blood and water for the past two years. Prost!
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Sockthing
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Re: Flower's Dev Diary (March 31st) - Cold hard truth editio

Post by Sockthing »

This makes me somehow emotional. Thinking that I have followed this mod for a long time and being the only way I played minecraft for a long time, I just cant thank you enough for that.
I think that it is amazing that BTW has not only inspired me to help out the BTW community by making Texture Pack supports, but also starting my very own Texture Pack from scratch!
Thinking that there will be only one more great update for BTW is sad, but after all you have explained totally understandable. And as everyone else said, we support you!

Now I got to wipe away those virtual tears and look towards the bright future of RTH!

I do have a question. What does the finalization of BTW mean for BTW add-ons?

Anyway thank you for everything<3
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